howp (sic) you had a good weekend


jack wrote me this note when he was in kindergarten.

bob was out of town and I was having a group of women over for the first time for a book club dinner and I was nervous. I'd been completely neurotic all day trying to clean up so it wouldn't look like 3 kids under the age of 5 lived in our house. I hurriedly fed the kids chicken fingers and then rushed them upstairs with desperate pleas for them to stay in their rooms and go to sleep. I don't know when he snuck down but he left it on the dining room table where he thought I might sit.

as soon as I found the note I laughed. it didn't matter whether or not my new book club friends thought I had my shit together with a clean house, quiet kids and sparkling conversation. it mattered that my day-long frenzy made my 5 year old worry about me and he howped I had a good dinner porte.

jack's spelling has drastically improved and he is officially a freshman in college. this weekend, in a whirlwind 72 hours we drove him down, set him up and drove home. I'm glad it was quick like a bandaid because I couldn't have handled a big process. on the drive down I came up with a new game plan - especially after my internal drama before we left: I'm officially psyched for jack. this brought back all kinds of college memories for me and this is one of the few times in life you get a fresh start and can completely reinvent yourself. now he gets to do all that and I'm fired up for him.

I realized he was a little nervous so I was very careful not to add my anxiety to his. I resisted the urge to fuss over his room or worry over forgotten things. he'll get his own shit together. heck, he's been doing his own laundry for 4 years now - he can certainly figure out where to stash his shampoo. but I did leave one little thing for him to find.

howp for college

it was this or a life-sized fathead of me for his wall. I still might do the fathead.