it's been quiet here on my sliver of the internet but not in my head.
I've got at least 6 posts started and I just can't seem to pull the trigger on 'publish'. don't worry, I'm not holding out on anything earth shattering or life changing which is largely why those posts just sit in limbo. others find and post more interesting pieces/articles/clothing/thoughts. and you should know that there's zero competition or jealousy coming from my end - I ENJOY reading others' posts and I'm grateful for their time and thoughts. I've just found this time of year to be very introspective and often publishing it here feels a little like it might dispel the effects and benefits of being introspective.
according to eleanor roosevelt:
"It is easy to slip into self-absorption and it is equally fatal. When one becomes absorbed in himself, in his health, in his personal problems, or in the small details of daily living, he is, at the same time losing interest in other people; worse, he is losing his ties to life."
she's not wrong and this alarmed me but then I realized my introspection is vastly different from this self-absorption. mine is more of a family assessment. a state of the union of sorts.
this is the time of year where I get to sit and watch my kids from the outside as they settle into the new in their very full life of schedules and classes and sports and friends. I measure their emotional growth from the year(s) before, I wonder what challenges will attempt to derail them and I thoroughly enjoy the little blips of their life I insert myself into (hello twitter, instagram and facebook) or even better? the time I'm invited and included. an absolute favorite read this fall? the way natalie holbrook describes sending her son to preschool for the first time:
"I do feel as though I've handed over my controlling interest in the Raising Of Huck Corporation, LLC. I've sold some of my shares to the teachers and friends and other outside influences that will become more and more a part of his life now that I'm no longer the primary shareholder. On the one hand, I'm so happy for him. And me! Free time! Also, I'm thrilled to be able share him. He is a blessing, and who am I to deprive people of such blessings? Like all kinds of joy, Huck is a thing best shared. But also, Hey. That's mine."
that's it exactly. I own fewer and fewer shares now but I'm thrilled to be able to share those kids of mine. it's all good.